Did you miss the last episode of The Bachelorette, the one with all the Chads? Check it out here. Also, if you can't get enough of Jordan Rodgers, our esteemed colleagues at For The Win are grading his performance here.
JoJo Fletcher and her swarm of suitors continued their tour of South America in Buenos Aires, Argentina on Monday's episode of The Bachelorette.
For the first time in the history of The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, there was an additional two-on-one date for the season, and Derek's exit made us wish we had protein powder to ceremoniously throw into the air. Not because we didn't like him, but because we like the gesture.
Oh, well. On with our superlatives.
Mr. Never Been Kissed: Wells
Wells got the one-on-one date, and he revealed to the guys that he hadn't kissed JoJo. The boys then started grinning bigger than the denture-wearing dogs in those commercials.
Wells' date card literally translated to "kiss me," putting pressure on the radio DJ to finally find the right moment. Here's a hint: It wasn't when JoJo started with the high five that awkwardly transitioned into a kiss on the cheek.
But it was when they were splashing around in a suspended pool.
Not too long after Wells proclaimed, "the neurotic, terrified Wells is finally falling away," did JoJo send him home without the rose.
"You are an incredible human being," she told him. "But I don't know if you are the person that I will spend the rest of my life with."
The Guy in Need of Kanye-fidence: James T.
While on a group date with Luke, Robby, Jordan, Alex, and JoJo, of course, James T. kept comparing himself to the other guys and proclaiming that he didn't measure up, looks-wise.
James T., before you get any teardrops of your guitar, let's open up a can of Kayne-fidence.
The Wine Swirler of the Night: Jordan
How does Jordan handle it when James T. tells JoJo that Jordan acted entitled? By aggressively swirling his wine. When James T. had one-on-one time with JoJo, he told her his concerns that Jordan was "entitled-seeming."
“Jordan Rodgers means that I’m pretty much a celebrity and people are gonna listen to me because I have a billion-watt smile and a stud arm... and I’m in magazines,” James T. said.
When JoJo confronted Jordan about it, he seemed pretty flustered.
And when he joined James T. and the other men, he really let that glass of wine have it.
And James T. as well.
"It's just pathetic when someone needs to bring up stuff like that," Jordan said.
JoJo ended up giving the group date rose to Luke, probably because she's "running out of words to describe the level of passion that is (the two of them) together," and now needs to rely on roses.
The Most Dramatic Exit: Derek
When you tell JoJo you're falling in love with her and her response is, "I appreciate that," your night probably isn't going to end well.
JoJo gave the rose to Chase on their two-on-one date, and Derek had an extremely dramatic exit that the editors paired with a performance of Don't Cry for Me Argentina. ABC had not an ounce of chill.
As musicians and violins began to play, Derek confided in the cameras. "I wasn't enough," he said. "I thought I was enough, I'm not. I'm Derek and Derek is imperfect."
Shhh. Just stop talking in the third person and you'll be okay.
The Rose Ceremony
With just one rose left to pass out, and two men with bare lapels before her, James T. and Alex anxiously waited to see who would win the final rose.
In keeping with the dramatic theme, JoJo ran out of the ceremony and somehow convinced Chris Harrison to let her have two roses — one for each of her remaining gentlemen.
All six men will join JoJo on the next part of her journey.
