Americans coast-to-coast will wake up on couches Thursday feeling drugged, wiping sleep from their eyes as a Detroit Lions game hums in the background. As they shake off their Turkey- (and stuffing- and pie- and wine-) induced comas, some might wonder: How much did I just eat?
About 3,000 calories, on average. Maybe 4,500. And perhaps 230 grams of fat, about three sticks’ worth of butter. That’s per the Calorie Control Council, a trade group that studies Thanksgiving gluttony.
But if you hope to burn off your gravy-laden sins with exercise, get ready. It could take a while. Walking off a 3,000-calorie feast takes about nine hours for a 180-pound adult. Jogging off one takes about five. Four and a half hours of jumping rope does the same.
Or go course by course: If you downed a five-ounce glass of red wine followed by a cup of apple cider, that could tally 240 calories, or about 48 minutes on a bicycle. Follow that with a third-cup of cranberry sauce, a couple small whole-wheat rolls and a half-cup of sweet potato casserole and you’re looking at 485 calories, an hour of swimming laps.
That’s the early goings of a triathlon before you even hit the main dishes.
Four ounces of skinless white turkey plus a cup total of stuffing and mashed potatoes (all covered in gravy, natch) come to 560 calories, or an hour and 10 minutes of ice skating. Finish it all with a wedge of pumpkin pie and whip cream and you’ll add a final 325 calories about 40 minutes of aerobics.
Double all of the above if you go back for seconds.
If all at your table feel stuffed with guilt, consider a new family tradition (like “a holiday walk, for instance,” the council suggests). And if you opt not to exercise on Thanksgiving, wear your stretchy-waisted athletic pants anyway. Your gut will thank you.
Follow Josh Hafner on Twitter: @joshhafner