ST. LOUIS — "The Last Days of American Crime" could have been a contender for great escapism, but then you notice that it's from the director of the two bad "Taken" movies and "The Transporter" film with the least amount of quality (the third one). Olivier Megaton is the director, which deletes any subtlety from the experience. Suddenly, your expectations are re-routed to "let's hope this isn't a giant pile of cinematic garbage."
What's the verdict? Well, crack a cold beer and walk with me a little.
Here's the thing. A movie with a great name (adapted from a 2009 graphic novel) doesn't always make for a good movie that's worth your time. This one stars Edgar Ramirez and Michael Pitt, a couple of Hollywood "that guys" that deserve better than this mindless drivel. Timely in the worst ways, this story revolves around a world in the near future that is on the verge of becoming a government-controlled state of authority.
In other words, a small chip is inserted into your brain and a signal is broadcast to the world, thus making humans unable to commit crimes. You won't be able to pull the trigger or plunge the knife into your combatant. For career criminals like Bricke (Ramirez), Kevin (Pitt), and the femme fatale of the film, Shelby (Anna Brewster), it's a great time to bust into a large bank and steal a billion dollars. In a time of rioting and looting and mass distress, criminals figure it's time to strike big. Sound eerily familiar?
It's definitely not in a good way. My lovely wife heard the plot and immediately fired off, "it's like a dumb Minority Report." And that is why I love my wife dearly. This is a cheap rip-off of the Steven Spielberg flick with some "Strange Days" and "The Purge" thrown in for extra measure until your ears start to bleed. This isn't an escapist flick at all; it's another over-budgeted Netflix production that doesn't break new ground or go anywhere with its characters or plot.
Megaton is a big problem. Imagine if Michael Bay and Luc Besson had a baby and dropped him on his head a couple times, and you have Megaton. There's no polish to be found in his directing and his action sequences are dull and overextended. He tries to be as cool as Besson and as loud as Bay, and neither hits the mark. He just ends up being ludicrous.
Now, I know what you're thinking ... what separates this from a "Fast and Furious" film? For one thing, a whole lot of fun and some laughs. You get The Rock and Jason Statham making fun of each other, or some really hyper-intense car chase that exists in its own world. You care about the characters too. Here, you barely know who Ramirez's overly conflicted and tight-lipped anti-hero is. He doesn't speak much, instead using his piercing eyes to draw pictures for the audience to determine if he's being serious or not held hostage by a bad script. Staring stoically and longingly into the camera isn't good enough here.
He, like Pitt, are good, capable actors who deserve better material. Here, they are all flash and no substance, or a quiet grim reaper type. Pitt's Kevin Cash is a cross between Jim Morrison and Iggy Pop, with extra greasy hair and a Brooklyn accent that starts to annoy by the third act.
That reminds me of another problem. The movie is just about two and a half hours long. "The Last Days of American Crime" feels like the last few centuries of average to bad action filmmaking. I hit pause a couple times and was horrified that we still had an episode of "Billions" left in this movie. It needed to be an hour less. The bloat on this film can be felt even from the comfort of your bedroom. It's okay for a film to be far-fetched and over the top, but something has to keep it grounded. That something doesn't exist here.
The plot has several attachments to it that extend it far beyond the human comprehension. The girl has a sister being held hostage by the FBI. Bricke has a brother who may have been murdered in prison. Cash is hiding stuff. The great Sharlto Copley ("District 9") is utterly wasted in a role that feels like it came from another movie entirely. He plays one of the last good cops trying to do right in the middle of a world that is quickly turning to chaos. Maybe there was a better film there. I bet it would be better than the one we got.
By the time Bricke and Shelby are bleeding out and running from authorities in a semi-truck, plowing through roadblocks, you are grateful. As in the running time is about over and there are over ten minutes of credits, so the madness is over. What to make out of the film's moral or meaning remains to be seen.
Here's the painful thing. I think there was a good film located somewhere in here. The graphic novel's main hook isn't terrible, but the timing of this film and the chosen director (who changed his last name to Megaton I might add) was poor all around.
I'd advise you to skip this movie and go watch Copley in "District 9," Ramirez in "Hands of Stone," and Pitt in "Boardwalk Empire."
Basically, find entertainment and refuge somewhere else.
More From Dan Buffa
- RELATED: Opinion | 5 things to know about Netflix's 'Space Force'
- RELATED: Review | 'Wake Up: Stories from the Frontlines of Suicide Prevention' is a powerful exploration of the mental health stigma
- RELATED: Opinion | 5 things to treasure when you rewatch 'Mad Men'
- RELATED: 'The Vast of Night' Review: 1950's UFO mystery has style to burn but fails to pack a punch
