Whether you like it or not, the Los Angeles Rams and New England Patriots will play in the Super Bowl tonight. Either Stan Kroenke or Bill Belichick will raise the Lombardi Trophy.
If the Rams win, it will confirm their move to Los Angeles as a rousing success. A ring before their move into a gigantic stadium built off the backs of elderly living and St. Louis sweat along with Walmart groceries. If the Patriots win, it may confirm the Belichick-Tom Brady duo as arguably the greatest of all time. Prepare to binge drink, eat an entire carton of rocky road ice cream, or just sulk if you are a St. Louis native.
Or, you could do something else to raise your spirits. Forget the game and plan an alternate route for your Sunday evening. What should you do? Well, as a proud born and raised St. Louisian, allow me to guide you with ten ideas.
10) Watch a replay of Super Bowl XXXIV
The ST. LOUIS Rams and the Tennessee Titans. When Dick Vermeil cried between speeches, Jeff Fisher knew what he was doing, Steve McNair was still alive and evading, and the dynamic A-Team of Warner-Faulk-Holt-Bruce lit up St. Louis. The tackle. The catch. The drama. My goodness. Dust off the cassette. Get out the recording. Find the DVD. Just do it.
9) Go for a run or walk in a neighborhood park
In case you didn't see the forecast, it's going to be over 60 degrees today. By the time the sun goes down, the cool will start to sneak in, but that shouldn't stop you from heading over to Forest Park, Francis Park, or Tilles for a jog or walk. If you can't eat all the chicken wings in the world, exercise your frustration out. You'd be amazed what a good sweat can do for your nerves and anger.
8) Watch The Replacements
A few reasons here. While this isn't an Academy Award caliber film, there are some hidden jewels. You get to see Gene Hackman act again as the head coach of a ragtag band of misfit toys football players. Jon Favreau plays a loose cannon linebacker named Danny who likes to hit red shirts in practice. Keanu Reeves Wick plays a burned-out college pro quarterback who now swims with the fishes and romances the hot girl at the bar. Think of this as prep for the incoming XFL football team that St. Louis will receive in 2020. A bunch of "who is that" dudes running around playing football. It's also a guilty pleasure treasure.
7) Barbecue
No, I don't mean go down to Sugarfire. Go out on your backpoach and gather the charcoal. Once you've slipped the tackle of that brunch hangover, fire up the grill and make some steaks. Light up a cigar. Spend the day on the deck breathing in that tease of spring air. Beat the angst by cooking a sweet meal at your own joint.
6) Watch "Major League"
Baseball is right around the corner, so get set with a true classic. Local boy Tom Berenger playing the aging not-so-gracefully catcher. Wesley Snipes before Blade 3 and tax trouble. Dennis Haysbert before Major League 3 and All-State. There's also the lovely plot thread of a greedy owner setting up her team to fail so she can move them to Miami. Rachel Phelps (the late Margaret Whitton) is the female Kroenke, and in this film, spoiler alert, she doesn't get her way. And is it ever a bad time to remember the great James Gammon as Coach Lou Brown and the peerless Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle? Nope. Sit back and laugh a lot.
5) Call that friend to hang out
You know, the one that you've either been putting off, couldn't find time for, or just couldn't figure how to do it. The friend who is down in the dumps, got dealt a nasty hand at birth and keeps getting pummeled by life at every turn, and just needs some company. Be brave and make the first move. Maybe you don't save their life, but you could preserve it for a while. It's never too late to make a call and carve out some time.
#BellLetsTalk.
4) Go for a long drive
How many times during the week do you have to rush into a car and race somewhere? Too many. I get it. Adulting is overrated yet relentless. Sundays are good for unplugging and doing something out of the ordinary. Get into the car, hide the GPS, and just drive. Turn up the radio, crank the tunes, and just keep going. Getting away can be a wise cleanse. And hey, if you end up in the Grove at Sauce on the Side, that's a happy ending waiting to happen with a Tank 7 sitting next to it.
3) Watch "Miracle"
With the hockey season starting to pick up speed and gain relevance by the day, it's never a bad time to rewatch this classic. Kurt Russell brilliantly channeling Herb Brooks. Gavin O'Connor recreating one of the country's greatest moments. The defeat of Russia was a spirit life for millions back then. Rarely does a movie nail every facet of history, but here, the movie came pretty close. When Russell yells, "AGAIN!", don't be afraid to run a lap around your house. Spend some time with hockey on a day where football is celebrated.
2) Spend time with family
If you feel scorned by a rich businessman taking what he wants and leaving integrity and goodwill behind, share the evening with close family and friends who deserve the time. Get a couple bottles of red, some takeout pizza, and just sit around and laugh. Trust me. It'll feel good.
1) Game 6 on KMOX
In a wonderful heel turn, the local radio station will play Game 6 of the 2011 World Series between the Texas Rangers and St. Louis Cardinals starting a little before kickoff. Where else can you see a three-inning Jaime Garcia start in the playoffs? Don't answer that. David Freese heroics aren't the only sex appeal here. Remember the gutsy work of Jake Westbrook. The timely hitting of Lance Berkman and Albert Pujols. Daniel Descalso coming off the bench and collecting two big hits. The sight of Ron Washington and Nolan Ryan having their souls crushed. The game played out like Rocky II, with Apollo Creed's Rangers seemingly having the upper hand and Rocky Balboa's Cards not going away. Hearing Mike Shannon call Freese's triple and home run simply never gets old. It's like hearing a classic rock song in slow motion.
That's all I got. The Super Bowl is happening, and so will the commercials and halftime show. It'll all underwhelm or make you mad. The NFL is not worth your time. Don't watch just to watch or try to be part of the cool kid crowd. Do your own thing.
I'd combine a few of the above. Invite some family over, turn on KMOX, and barbecue outside. Invite the family over, pop open a bottle, and just sit back and relax.
There are so many things to do tonight instead of watch the Super Bowl. I gave you ten, but I trust you'll find your way.
It's my 37th birthday, so I will be doing something other than watching football.
Cheers and goodnight.