ST. LOUIS — There's a chill in the air, and it has nothing to do with the winter weather mix heading St. Louis's (or the better part of the country) way this week. The weekend box office that counted out January should make movie theater owners feel cold enough. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" led the top ten with a three-day gross of $11 million. It came out on Dec. 17 by the way.
When Sony Pictures decided to postpone "Morbius," the Marvel half-brother tale starring Jared Leto earlier this month, the beginning of 2022 was essentially put on hold at the box office. "Scream," aka "Scream 5," had a nice little run that produced a very modest gross for the low-budget horror sequel, but Tom Holland's webslinger didn't even move his things out of the penthouse. By the time January started to age, "No Way Home" was quickly becoming one of the highest-grossing films of all time.
But the problem was it's like watching that great player on a garbage baseball team. The guy who hits four times a night, yet can't make a real dent. There were a few other scattered hits, like December's other triumphant sequel, "Sing 2." The Bono-infused sing-along was easy on the eyes and ears, bolstered by the U2 frontman adding his still-strong voice to the mix--along with Matthew McConaughey's energetic Buster Moon leading the story.
Outside of those two, the winter season has been a dud, hampered greatly by the ongoing pandemic. As we reach the two year point of the first COVID-19 surge in our region, the movie theater industry still hasn't completely climbed off the canvas. Last year produced some big moments, from John Krasinski's "A Quiet Place Part II" to "Shang-Chi: The Legend of the Ten Rings." The top 20 was littered with sequels, reboots, origin tales, or movies that were a product of an existing IP. The creativity department is so dead in mainstream distribution at the moment that moviegoers forget how good-looking original films were.
All people crave at the moment is Holland doing flips and kicks as Peter Parker, not a dark Guillermo Del Toro tale starring Bradley Cooper and Cate Blanchett. ("Nightmare Alley started streaming on HBO Max today, by the way.) It's no secret that the preferred blend for audiences right now is escapist fun. How else could the abominable "F9" make the top 5 grosses of 2021? Existing IP combined with Vin Diesel and John Cena staring each other down was a slam dunk.
And while I can bang the table for independent films, the theaters need whatever they can get right now. Success just has to be success, not dressed a particular way. They will prey on more easy-to-digest Holland fare this month in "Uncharted," a direct path to video gamers' hearts. Channing Tatum's marketing department deserves a medal for making his comeback film a movie about a guy and his dog, appropriately named "Dog." The Foo Fighters have an ambitious horror movie, "Studio 666," releasing this month. None of these titles have been delayed, at least not yet.
They need to stay on the docket. Studios shouldn't follow the lead of Tom Cruise and Paramount pushing back the next two "Mission: Impossible" entries. The sharply written Christopher McQuarrie adventure films--think "Fast and Furious" with a bigger brain--would go down like kettle corn this spring. Instead, it's pushed a few months back.
Don't listen to Sony pushing back "Morbius," which follows a biochemist who mixes the wrong doses and accidentally becomes a vampire. Release the movies. Audiences need them. They have proven to prefer brainless yet fun-looking entertainment, so please don't delay the slushies. Get them out there so theaters can be seen as successful and viable again. If they make money, the economy is making money and doing well.
This past weekend, there were no new movies. Nothing major in the mainstream department. Adrien Brody released an indie revenge thriller, "Clean," that was distributed into four St. Louis-area theaters. January may be the dump month for studios but ever since 2020 crippled theaters, there's no time to waste.
Like or hate Marvel, but the theaters need those hits right now. They just all can't be named "Eternals" or "Spider-Man." The world needs to finally see Cruise's "Top Gun" sequel before the film becomes an antique. You can't keep us from Miles Teller's mustache, playing the son of Anthony Edwards' Goose. 2022 will more than likely be another year of the sequel, perhaps with a few original gems thrown into the mix.
While that's not exactly a winning recipe for pure cinema lovers-the people who need constant oppression in every other movie-the mainstream crowd will eat it up. If movie theaters are to survive, the big movies have to remain greenlit on the coming soon list.
