x
Breaking News
More () »

'He actually grabbed my face and said: let me go': Ballwin dad speaks for the first time about CTE and losing his child to suicide

After getting knocked out twice during his senior year playing football and soccer at John F. Kennedy Catholic High School, John Gaal Jr. died by suicide in 2017.

Editor's note: This story discusses suicide.  If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call the network, previously known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 800-273-8255.

BALLWIN, Mo. — As school goes back into session and fall sports ramp up, this is a cautionary story for parents and their children.

After getting knocked out twice during his senior year at the now-closed John F. Kennedy Catholic High School, John Gaal Jr. died by suicide seven years ago.

His family donated his brain to research with the VA-BU-CLF Brain Bank, where it was diagnosed with Stage 1 chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE.

In an exclusive interview, the Ballwin family finally shares the benefits and dangers of their son's high school athletic career. 

Gaal Jr. played on the Manchester fields behind St. Joseph Parish. 

"He always was quick-witted but he was kind as well," Gaal Sr. said.

"Little John" to his dad, Gaal Sr. emphasized how much his son loved sports.  

Looking at the banner that used to hang in Kennedy High School after it closed in May 2017, Gaal Sr. explained that "the 2010 and 2011 team, those were both teams where John in his junior and senior year had played in the final four [for soccer]."

Yet, in high school Gaal Jr. got two concussions from football and two in soccer. 

Gaal Sr. said changes in John's personality didn't happen right away.

"John was really good at keeping a lot of this to himself," Gaal Sr. said. "The serious signs didn't really come through until maybe about a year before he died." 

It happened on March 24, 2017. John's parents busted down the bathroom door at home to see he had taken his own life. 

"He was still conscious, and he actually grabbed my face and said, 'Let me go,'" Gaal Sr. said through tears.

Gaal Jr. was 24. However, many people have noticed a change since Gaal Jr.'s passing, with a spotlight on the lifelong impact of concussions. 

Gaal Jr.'s high school and college friend, Kevin Wehner, is the assistant athletic director at Saint Louis University High School. 

"What I'm seeing is more caution from the boys," Wehner said. "They're more aware for the most part. They're more cautious than they were before they're seeing these stories out there of NFL guys or college guys who years down the road are dealing with these symptoms." 

Yet, young men aren't the only ones facing danger. Medical experts say female soccer and football players run high risks of CTE as well. 

The Mayo Clinic categorizes CTE as a brain disorder likely caused by repeated head injuries. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, "[CTE] causes the death of nerve cells in the brain, known as degeneration. CTE gets worse over time. The only way to definitively diagnose CTE is after death during an autopsy of the brain."

With more women playing contact sports like football, it's a bigger consideration for elite athletes like St. Louis's professional women's tackle football team, the St. Louis SLAM.

They've won five national championships as a team so far, their latest on July 27. 

The SLAM quarterback is Jaime Gaal, Gaal Jr.'s cousin.

Her family supports her tireless effort to compete as a professional athlete, yet her mom still worries about possible head injuries considering their family history.  

"There was always an understanding where, if you get one concussion, that might be the end of it," Jaime said. "If you get two, I don't think she would let me play even though I'm grown. Your mom still gets to tell you what to do." 

Between family, friends and former teammates, about 1,000 people came to Gaal Jr.'s funeral in 2017, his dad said.

"As a parent, you always wonder if you ever get through to your kids," Gaal Sr. said. "When I was giving his eulogy, I looked out there and I realized we didn't do such a bad job."

Gaal Jr. would have been 32 this year. 

After one of the worst days of their life, the Gaal family founded the 21-14 Concussion Awareness Foundation providing resources to local groups serving the homeless and underserved with food, shelter, and assistance for mental health or suicide prevention.

If you're interested in getting involved, you can click the foundation link here or read more of Gaal Jr.'s story at the Concussion Legacy Foundation website.

Before You Leave, Check This Out