ST. LOUIS — In a video seen around the world, Jon Stewart recently shared news of the passing of his dog on The Daily Show. "He was ready, he was tired...but I wasn't," Stewart said while fighting back tears.
It was open, raw, touching and public... something we rarely see over the loss of a pet. However, a St. Louis woman hopes to change that.
"For me it feels like a responsibility to be able to say we should normalize this. We should talk to each other about it. We shouldn't feel ashamed about it and we should just celebrate the love that you actually did get to have," Erika Sinner said.
Sinner decided to write a book about it called, "Pets Are Family: It's as simple as that." Sinner wrote it after the death of her family dog, Kingston.
"Kingston, we call him our golden nugget. Golden brown, black mask and his little nacho ears," Sinner said.
At a book signing in Chesterfield the CEO and author shared her message, which includes suggesting companies allow for pet bereavement, and that it's OK to not be OK when your pet dies.
I asked Sinner, "What do you do for someone who has lost a pet?" Sinner said, "I think it's gray for us in society. We don't have funerals, we don't have obituaries, we don't have the traditional things that you would have for a human. So, I just have in the book a supportive text message can change someone's entire day to here's some gifts that would say to somebody, 'I understand this is a huge loss for you.'"
Many pet parents feel guilt when making the decision to say goodbye. "Part of it is realizing that it's normal to have the guilt and no matter how you make the decision there's going to be some component of guilt there, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It's just your heart and mind playing tricks on us through this grieving process," explained Dr. Dawnette Woodruff.
After working in more traditional veterinary medicine for years, Woodruff now focuses on hospice and end-of-life care for animals. Last year, she opened Pets at Rest. It is a comfort center in Creve Coeur... one of only a few in the country.
"This is something I was considering a year ago. We decided to go for it and create a place where they can put the memory of their pet's passing that is comfortable, relaxed, peaceful private. Just like home, but not at their own home," Woodruff said.
There is a room for large dogs, another room for small dogs and one for cats. The place is serene. Debbie Pech has brought two of her dogs to Pets at Rest.
"It's hard to walk away from them and leave them, but you know they're in her care. It was easy, I mean not easy but easier," Pech said.
There is that one pet in your life that just captures your heart. "Getting real with people and being vulnerable is really hard and I think Kingston would be proud of me doing it," said Sinner.
The rainbow bridge, a mythical symbol where our pets cross in death. Or perhaps it is another way for us humans to cope and accept that our best friends are going to be OK. One sits in front of Pets at Rest, handmade by Woodruff and her husband.
The hand carved names of pets who've crossed over like my own pup, LaRue. Gone but never forgotten.
Woodruff explains it best. "It's that bittersweetness that we can remember them and the love we shared and find a way to honor that memory the way we carry forward without them."
If you've lost a pet, there are so many resources to help you get through. One is the Pet Loss Support Hotline at Cornell University at 607-218-7457. The line is available 24/7.