Nicole is a survivor of domestic abuse. She did not want to reveal her last name or show her face, but she did want to tell her story.
Years ago, Nicole said she met a man who showered her with love and attention. After a quick courtship, they got married. The abuse started as emotional and verbal. Later, it escalated to physical abuse.
“Little by little, my dignity and self-worth were stripped away,” Nicole said.
Nicole said she was ashamed and embarrassed. She wouldn’t even tell her family or closest friends about the abuse.
“It was very shameful for me because I couldn't handle my situation,” she said. “People were like, 'why didn't you leave? How could you let this happen to yourself?' It brings more of, it's my fault because I'm better than that.”
After the birth of their son, Nicole decided to leave.
“I wanted something better for him,” she said. “The hope of my son saved my life.”
Nicole now does volunteer and outreach work with the victims of domestic abuse through Alive, a local non-profit that provides free help for victims. Alive provides counseling for victims, their children, and assistance finding emergency shelter.
“The person who's living with someone who's abusive is under an immense amount of stress,” said Jennifer Gadsky, an adult clinical coordinator with Alive. “One way they try to reduce their stress is to keep the peace. If I could keep my partner happy, keep my partner calm, I’ll keep myself safe.”
Gadsky said leaving an abusive situation is incredibly difficult.
“Victims of domestic abuse have difficulty making simple decisions because of fear and because they've been broken down, their self-esteem,” Gadsky said.
There is help for victims, and Nicole wants them to know there is a path to hope.
“The real courage is asking for help,” she said.
For more information, visit Alive's website.