ST. LOUIS — “Girl Scouts Beyond Bars helped a lot with me getting to see my mom. Some people have parents in jail and don’t get to visit them at all,” Amber Rush said.
While she was in jail [my sister and I] were able to build a relationship with her.”
Beyond Bars is a free program for girls in St. Louis with mothers incarcerated at Vandalia or Chillicothe Women’s Correctional Centers.
“I struggled with parenting them and still struggle with it now because they’ve already been raised,” Mallory said. “I’m not trying to be your sister or your friend, but I feel like their sister because my mom raised [us], she raised them.”
Incarcerated mothers and their daughters have been building and strengthening their relationships on behalf of Beyond Bars since 1996. The program provides transportation for monthly meetings and several bonding activities including arts and crafts, STEM projects, and more.
Amber and her twin sister Autumn have been part of the program since they were little. Their mother Mallory went to prison for 12 years after being caught up in a large brawl, which she contends was not her fault. She was released in 2020.
Amber, Autumn, and Mallory’s story is why LaTonya Logan, Community Troop Manager at Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri said she loves her job and what motivates her.
“I wanted to do this job because mother-daughter relationships are so important,” Logan said. “I’m fortunate my mom has always been there. I don’t even know what that could feel like [now I’m a mom] thinking of being away from my child."
Maya Pierce, Senior Manager of Community Troop Programs, said it is important for people to know the program exists.
“I want people to know about the program because although we partner with the Missouri Department of Corrections, the information is not always seen by the population,” she said.
“So if there is a loved one at Vandalia or Chillicothe reach out to us we would love to get them involved. We would love to work with St. Louis City and County because we could start the relationship before they get there.”
The aftermath of Mallory’s imprisonment left her mother (the girl’s grandmother) and other family members to raise the twins. Her incarceration had a tremendous effect on the family’s communication.
“I struggled with parenting them and still struggle with it now because they’ve already been raised,” Mallory said. “I’m not trying to be your sister or your friend, but I feel like their sister because my mom raised [us], she raised them.”
When the girls got in trouble Mallory’s mom would tell her to discipline them however, she didn’t feel comfortable being the disciplinarian due to her environment.
“I felt like I didn’t have a right, it wasn’t my place to say something because ‘Who am I to tell them how to act, look where I was at?,’” Mallory said.
Amber agreed with Mallory’s attitude toward her and her sister’s relationship with their mom having difficulties post her release.
“We are still having trouble with deciding whether we wanna be kids or adults,” Amber said. “There’s some things we wanna do that are adult things. We wanna go hangout with our friends. We want to do this, we want to do that, but at the same time we want to be kids.”
When Mallory was released from prison she said she struggled with adjusting to being back in her daughters’ lives and knowing she was no longer alone since she had been alone for 12 years.
“I felt like everybody was like ‘Okay, you're here now. I need you to take care of them. I need you to do this, do that,” she said.
“I felt like nobody understood I just spent 12 years by myself. I was surrounded by people, but I was alone. Now I need a little space to step into what their expectations are of me.”
Life is much different now for the family since Mallory’s release. Mallory received her cosmetology license in 2020 and works as a barber at Iconic Male Grooming Spa in Ballwin.
“I haven’t thought about a passion,” Mallory said. “I’m still trying to get my feet planted solidly on the ground. I’m not in the clouds right now thinking about what I wanna do. I’m thinking about what I need to do.”
Amber and Autumn are seniors at Soldan International Studies High School.
Amber has applied to various colleges including Fontbonne University, Harris-Stowe State University, Truman State University, and Missouri S&T.
“I want to major in early childhood, special education and minor in social work,” Amber said. “I have a cousin with down syndrome and an autistic brother, I like talking to them and I really want to help people.”
“I’ve always been into hair and beauty, I’ve been wanting to do it for awhile,” Autumn said. “I also like psychology, I took AP psychology my junior year.”
Learn more about Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri chapter’s Beyond Bars Program, here: https://www.girlscoutsem.org/en/get-involved.html#outreach.
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