ST. LOUIS — Early on, dance was the quintessential piece in Sabrina McField’s existence; she ate, breathed, and slept it like her life depended on it.
At 18, it was her dream career; now at 35, she realizes it was the refuge that helped her cope with the childhood trauma she experienced during her parent’s dysfunctional marriage.
Her book, “The Dance in My Shoes: Ten Power Moves to Make Life Move to Your Rhythm,” provides readers with a widened lens on the effect her upbringing had on her, especially when following her dreams in Los Angeles. It also dives into how she forgave her parents for their mistakes.
Before her big move, she sought guidance and mentorship from Anthony ‘Redd’ Williams, established choreographer and creative director who persuaded her decision.
“I remember her telling me I think I wanna dance and I said go for it,” Williams said. “I’ll never forget I received a call from her saying that she moved to LA. She made that jump and that was the start.”
Her now divorced parents Denise McField and Robert McField were skeptical about her relocation to a new city. Ultimately, they agreed it was best for her to make her own decisions.
“I didn’t like it at all, but I knew she had a passion for dance, so I had to trust the process,” Denise said. “I didn’t want to feel guilty that I had inhibited her natural ability.”
The grind was real for McField while in LA, she was blessed to share the stage with R. Kelly, Nelly, Keyshia Cole, and more. Most assumed she was living the good life because she was photographed with celebrities and attending some of the hottest events at the time.
But it was the opposite. She felt lonely as she slept on her friend’s hardwood floor with no money, food, or family support.
“While everybody was thinking Sabrina got it, I was struggling, but I was fighting too. I wasn't giving up on myself. I cried every night in LA.” said McField.
She had an epiphany that made her realize the why behind her move to LA wasn’t her dreams after all, it was to escape her harsh reality of unconfronted childhood trauma.
“Dancing next to a celebrity, opening up for a celebrity or even being a celebrity means absolutely nothing when you take your makeup off, take your hair out, shut the door and look in the mirror,” said McField.
Like the saying goes, time heals. McField managed to get to a place where she forgave her parents and saw them as humans as well as parents.
“I want people to know that we are all humans,” McField said. "Every broken person is a human, every damaged person is a human. We are all humans who have this story and it's never what it looks like.”
Both parents admit when they married, they were young and didn’t know everything about raising a family, but in hindsight they would do things differently if they could.
“We were young and didn’t know anything about marriage, we had just got married after college only knowing each other for three months,” Robert said. “I wish I could have done better, but I did the best with what I had back then.”
The lesson McField wants people to take away from the book is that we’re all human and no matter what you’ve gone through it doesn’t define where you will end up.
“Even though you are broken, damaged, marred and flawed you can still do great things,” McField said. “You can still do something great even when you’re all messed up.”
McField has since moved back to St. Louis. She has worked as a licensed hairstylist and is currently a Licensed Life Insurance Agent and digital marketing specialist.
Learn more about McField, here: https://www.sabrinamcfield.com/.