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A year after CVPA school shooting, counselors offer advice on how to talk to children about it

“A lot of times, we avoid having these conversations because we’re struggling to find the right thing to say," a child psychologist said.

ST. LOUIS — Tuesday marks the one-year anniversary of the school shooting at Central Visual and Performing Arts High School in south St. Louis.

Two people were killed before the gunman, a former student, was shot and killed by St. Louis police.

Student Alexzandria Bell and teacher Jean Kuczka were shot and killed that day. Others were shot and wounded or injured while escaping.

According to one of her students, 61-year-old Kuczka locked the classroom door, but it wasn’t enough to stop the shooter.

The student said, “He was able to just shoot his way in.”

After she was shot, Kuczka was taken to the hospital and later died. Kuczka was the mother of five, grandmother of seven and an avid cyclist.

Bell was just 15 years old.

So how do we go about reassuring children on the anniversary of such an event? It becomes more real when children know it happened close to home.

Washington University Child Psychologist Dr. Neha Navsaria said the biggest piece is having ongoing conversations with kids and making sure we’re making space to validate their emotions, connect with their feelings and make sure they understand this is something that is real and it’s okay to have feelings about these types of fears.

“So, ongoing conversations are extremely important," Navsaria told 5 On Your Side in August. "You want to have your child be aware you are an emotional resource.

“A lot of times, we avoid having these conversations because we’re struggling to find the right thing to say.”

Navsaria said young children have a pretty narrow worldview. They might have one piece of information, and that might define how they view the world. So, you need to provide them with context.

With older kids, you can start the conversation out open-ended and follow their lead. They are looking for what can be done to ensure this won’t happen to them. Are there organizations a parent or teenager might participate in that advocate for gun safety? Reframe the anxiety and give them some way to be proactive.

“Reassuring them by saying, ‘Well, these are all the things that adults in your school and your life are doing to try to ensure your safety,’” said Navsaria.

Navsaria said children might not say anything, initially, but they know they can come back to you with those thoughts.

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