The easy definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while hoping for a different result.
During the first three weeks of the season, the St. Louis Cardinals have played the Milwaukee Brewers six times, with the Brewers winning five of those games. They've outscored the Cardinals 37-30, which isn't an embarrassing margin, save for one detail. Christian Yelich, the reigning MVP of the National League, has accounted for 18 of those runs. He's already bashed eight home runs and driven in 18 runs at the plate in those six games.
For some reason that only Yoda may know, Mike Shildt continues to allow Cardinal pitching to throw Yelich juicy fastballs. Baseballs anywhere near the plate with Yelich standing there is a bad idea right now. They pitch it, Yelich hits it over the wall, and the scoreboard gets a crooked number hung up.
Example: On Monday night, the Cardinals lost to Milwaukee, 10-7. Yelich accounted for seven of the Brewers' runs, hitting three home runs. If Shildt hadn't pitched to him, the game could have been won.
Tuesday night, the Cardinals were climbing back into the game, trimming the deficit to 5-2, and Yelich hit a three-run homer. Game over. Done. Finished. Buried.
The Cardinals management and front office have talked about having the necessary pitchers to get Yelich out. Well, that's not the case. 40% of the time he comes to the plate he hits a home run. At some point, respect must be paid.
In keeping things light and fun during an entertaining yet frustrating start to the season, I wondered what other things were more insane than pitching to Christian Yelich right now. Here are 10 that I came up with.
10) Touching a hot stove. You've seen the idiotic videos of people challenging themselves to do it. Resist. Turn it off. It's just stupid. Don't do it. At the very least, you'll end up with a nasty burn. At worst, you may try it again.
9) Running a red light after stopping at it. I've seen these people. They pull up to it, think there are no cops around, run it, and get pulled over. I call them small brain people. Just stop at the red light. Wait a few seconds. Whenever you are going can wait.
8) Eating an entire box of Cheez-Its. There you are, restless and tired of kale salads, and an inviting box of processed cheese crackers call your name. Maybe I'll have a handful and stop. Maybe half the box. Before you know it, the entire box is empty. A few orphan crackers bouncing around the bottom. You regret this decision.
7) Eating cold Chinese food. You pull it out of the fridge, but are too lazy to get a plate and microwave it, so you dig into the boxed chunk of meat, veggies, rice, dried oil, and various other flavors, prying out a fork-sized bite large enough to store in your pants pocket. After the initial chews are over, the doubt settles in. The stomach curdles. Moans commence. Bad idea.
6) Drinking Jagermeister past the age of 21 years and one day. It's nasty, destroys your stomach, and looks like motor oil that came out of a 1971 vehicle. Just don't do it.
5) Denying my wife a glass of red wine after a long day of work. This is worse than kicking out the legs of an old woman before church. There's one thing a hard-working mother and wife needs after work, and that's a large glass of Cabernet. Don't deny it.
4) Slamming a TV show before watching it. All these people coming out on Sunday and talking about never watching Game of Thrones and being proud of it ... uh, why? Give it a shot, and if you don't like it, bash it to the end. If you haven't watched it, quiet down. Before I watched Breaking Bad, I saw all the praise for it and the reviews. I didn't call it stupid and not worth my time. I watched it first.
3) Believing that the St. Louis Blues can do anything easy. Or anything at all. 50+ years of "almost" torment. Up 2-0 against the Winnipeg Jets and now tied at 2. Unless they pull their heads out of a dark place, another first round exit seems to be in order.
2) Interstate 44 construction ever coming to an end. They say next year, but who are we kidding? It's been going on for three years. Eastbound, westbound, and generally all around. Delays, fixings, pavement laid out, redone, lined up, pushed around, and more. It's endless and frustrating for an Uber driver. One day, this will be a beautiful city ... when they are done building it.
1) The Loop Trolley. Another week comes around, and another car is struck by this blast from the past. Since people can't stop living in the old testament, this abomination is still going. So much money spent. Wasted. They could have been given that cash to schools or pushed it elsewhere. Or not raised it or spent it at all. What's next? Hot air balloon travel instead of the Metro.
It's almost too simple. Christian Yelich has singlehandedly helped the Brewers at least two wins this season. Two wins that could prove vital as these two teams fight it out this season for the National League Central title. Everyone else in that lineup isn't as good right now as Yelich. Lorenzo Cain. Travis Shaw. Eric Thames. Ryan Braun. Pitch to them. Walk Yelich. A man on, two on, or empty bases in a close game should mean four fingers.
Once again, he's hit eight home runs and driven in 18 runners in just six games. The two teams meet this afternoon. In order to avoid the sweep, the Cardinals must pitch around the MVP.
